Pressing Pause ep 138 When you’re juggling all the balls and it feels like they’re slipping
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Welcome to Pressing Pause, I’m your host, Gabrielle Treanor, a coach, writer, introvert and sensitive soul with an inclination to ponder over the stuff of life. Join me as I explore how we can create, find and feel more calm, ease and joy in our daily lives.
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For those of you listening in north America I’m delighted to tell you that this is the month my book The 1% Wellness Experiment is published in the United States and Canada! On 27th February to be exact. The 1% Wellness Experiment is packed with ideas and tools to boost your mental and emotional wellbeing that take just ten minutes or 1% of your waking day, and which you can experiment with so that they work in your unique life. I’ve had some wonderful feedback and reviews of the book since it was published just before Christmas in the UK so I can’t wait to hear what readers in the US and Canada think too. You can pre-order the book now from your local bookshop or your favourite online bookstore and the book will be available from Tuesday 27 February. I’m excited for The 1% Wellness Experiment to finally be available in the US and when you get your copy do let me know what you think of it!
Okay, let’s get on with today’s episode.
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Welcome to episode 138. A few years ago I tried to learn how to juggle. I started with two balls but gave up before I graduated to three so can you really consider that juggling?
It was kind of ridiculous that I wanted to learn how to juggle because I already am a juggler. As are you. We’re all juggling every day – tasks, dates, work, people, hobbies, exercise, deadlines, relationships, emotions, time… we’re juggling all kinds of metaphorical balls all day long.
Some of the time the juggling is manageable, you can keep an eye on them moving from hand to hand through the air and hold a conversation at the same time. But, depending on how many more balls get added to the juggle, where the balls came from and the value put on them, it can feel a lot harder to keep them all moving.
I was speaking with someone recently who’s feeling under pressure from everything she’s trying to manage at the moment. She talked about needing to keep everything going, not let anyone down, hit deadlines, meet expectations, manage their emotions – essentially she’s juggling all the balls and is desperately trying not to drop any of them.
When you’re used to keeping all the balls in the air, when you’re expected to keep all the balls in the air and be okay with new ones being lobbed in because that’s what you’ve always done, it feels like every ball is made of glass and if even just one were to smash the sharp shards would scatter everywhere.
You know when you’re getting to critical ball juggling point because you have the constant underlying feeling that your balls are the equivalent of Fabergé eggs and if one fell to the floor you’d be jumped on by museum security guards, hauled off to art prison and forever be known as the woman who broke the gazillion-dollar egg.
I realise that’s a metaphor within a metaphor but I like it so I’m going with it, stay with me.
There are balls you’re juggling that aren’t even yours, they were given to you without you wanting them.
The thought of dropping any of these balls is too awful. What would it say about you if you dropped one, or several? You should be able to juggle all the balls, everyone else is, you used to be able to. You’re expected to (by others and by yourself) so you can’t just… not. Struggling with the juggle already shows you’re failing so if you dropped one that’s proof you messed up, you can’t cope, you’ve disappointed someone.
And then there are moments when you imagine hurling the whole lot to the ground, watching them smash and scatter as you stride off into the sunset. Oh the relief!
And then the guilt. For not holding all the balls you should, for wanting someone else to do the juggling for a while, for making a mess someone else might see or even need to help clean up.
So you gather up all the balls and promise yourself that you just need to get up earlier, work harder and faster and better and you’ll keep all those balls in the air just fine.
Here’s the thing: not only do the balls you’re juggling not all belong to you, the balls you’re juggling are NOT Fabergé eggs. They’re not even all made of glass.
Some of them are made of rubber and when – yes, when because you’re going to drop a ball eventually because you’re human – you drop it it’ll bounce and you can catch it again. Maybe on the first, maybe on the third bounce but at any rate the ball’s no worse off for having bounced around a bit.
Other balls are made of foam, you drop it and wherever it lands it stops there. It doesn’t shatter, it doesn’t dent, it doesn’t roll off, the ball just stays there on the ground for whenever, or if ever, you’re ready to pick it up again.
There are even balls that disappear. They’re the sneaky balls that were masquerading in a fancy faux Fabergé outfit but when dropped turn out to be unimportant and made of soapy liquid and air, popping on impact.
And some of the balls are indeed made of glass. They may not be bejewelled but they would break into at least a few pieces if dropped, giving you more problems.
While you see all the balls you’re juggling as made of fragile, shatterable material the stress of keeping them all in the air is going to weigh heavy on you, and your arms. Juggling a multitude of glass balls, or Fabergé eggs, is not sustainable and at some point, one is going to fall.
Before any, or any more, drop look at all the balls you’re juggling. Really look at them.
Which are made of foam and you can set down?
Which are made of rubber and can bounce if needed?
Which balls may pop and vanish given the chance to touch the ground?
Which aren’t yours – how can you give them back or at least not take them on again?
Which balls can you give to someone else, who may appreciate the opportunity, be glad to help or even be better suited to juggling it?
And which balls are the truly precious ones that you want to focus on keeping in the air?
I’ll leave you with this final question, how many balls are you juggling and what are they made of?
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Thank you for listening to Pressing Pause, you can find the show notes at gabrielletreanor.com/podcast.
As I mentioned at the start, although my book The 1% Wellness Experiment was published in the UK in December we’re only now in the month it will be published in the United States and Canada, on 27 February. If you have been enjoying a copy already, or when you get a copy, it would be amazing if you could add a quick review to the page on Amazon because that helps the book to be found by other readers. You don’t even have to have bought your copy from Amazon to leave a review.
And if you’d like to tell me directly what you think of the book, as well as this podcast or anything else you want to share from me, I always love to hear from you so please do drop me a line at [email protected].
Thanks again for listening, until next time.
