Feel at home away from home

Pressing Pause Episode 107 Feel at home away from home

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Welcome to Pressing Pause, I’m your host, Gabrielle Treanor, a coach, writer, introvert and sensitive soul with an inclination to ponder over the stuff of life. Join me as I explore how we can create, find and feel more calm, ease and joy in our daily lives.

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Do you know that I have whole resource library, that you can access for free on my website? There’s a range of free guides and audios all designed to help you live with more calm and joy. There’s a guide on how you can start your day with more calm without needing to find a single extra minute in your morning – I guarantee I will not tell you to set your alarm a minute earlier. There’s an ebook on how to overcome your overwhelm as an introvert, because us introverts can get overwhelmed really quite easily! There’s a set of guided meditations you can listen to and there’s a guide on making your own soothing self care kit.

You can choose one or all of these free guides and you can download them from my website at gabrielletreanor.com/free. You’ll also get my weeklyish emails, designed to calm and delight, where I share my own experiences and insights, along with tools and ideas for how you can bring down the overwhelm and live with more calm and joy each day. 

My emails are always the first place I share new offerings I’ve made for you and give special offers. I’m spending less time on social media these days so if you want to connect with what I’m sharing outside of this podcast my emails are the best way to do that.

So, check out my free guides and download any or all of them at gabrielletreanor.com/free

Okay, on with the episode!

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Welcome to episode 107. As I’m posting this episode in August it’s a time when many of you might be going on holiday, visiting family or staying a night away with friends. 

There’s always a lot to think about when you’re travelling, even more so with the chaos we’ve seen on the news at airports and ferry ports, as well a train strikes and motorway traffic jams. Then there’s thinking about what you need to pack, what you can carry, or fit in the car, checking transport routes, thinking about the best time to be on the move in relation to traffic or crowds. It’s a lot to sort out and keep in mind and when you arrive at your destination that doesn’t necessarily mean that the stress will instantly vanish and you’ll become totally relaxed. I know that when I take a break it can be a few days before I really begin to unwind.

However lovely the place we’re staying in is, however lovely the friends or family or hosts are, and however glad we are to be with them, it’s not the same as being in our own home. Being in someone else’s space, however lovely it is, can be a source of stress. Which feels wrong because aren’t we lucky to be on holiday or to have family or friends to visit? So then we feel bad for not being completely appreciative and blissful about where we are and who we’re with. 

And of course there are times when we have to go away from home because a family member is sick or a friend needs support. The reason for staying somewhere else might be highly stressful, worrying or upsetting. You may need to give much of your energy and brain space to supporting someone else, while being in a different environment.

So what can we do, whatever the reason we’re away from home, to truly be present in the place we’re staying, and to focus on the people we’re visiting? What is within your own power to feel more settled and secure wherever you are?

To an extent it depends on where you’re staying and for how long, how much space you have and your mode of transport to get there. 

First of all, think about what you can take with you to help you feel at home, that makes sense with where you’re staying. This could include a beloved framed photo, your favourite scented candle or the pillow from your bed. Think about your nighttime and morning routines, it may need to be flexible depending on where you’re staying but are there elements that you can take with you to help you feel at home? 

Can you bring along your favourite toiletries or decant them into mini travel size bottles? Perhaps packing your slippers and dressing gown will help you feel more comfortable and relaxed. I take my slippers when I’m away for even just one night and I love it when family or friends staying with me bring their slippers, I feel like they’re making themselves at home and that’s how I want them to feel. 

If you usually read before bed make sure you remember to take the book you’re in the middle of, and another one in case you finish it. If you love practising yoga perhaps pack your mat just in case there’s space to roll it out in your room for your daily practice. 

When I arrive at wherever I’m staying, if it’s practical, so if I’m going to be sleeping in a bedroom rather than on a sofabed say, I’ll take my, or our, bags to the room and quickly unpack a few things. I’ll put the PJs under the pillow and my book by my side of the bed, I’ll lay out our clothes for the next day so they can uncrease and get out the toiletry bag so it’s ready to use if I need to freshen up or for when I go to bed that night. This only takes a couple of minutes and it makes me feel more settled and able to focus on the people I’m staying with because it signals to my brain that I’ve arrived, and this is ‘home’ for however long.

You can also think about any particular food or drink you like, or need, and take that along with you. I drink decaf tea and many of my friends and family don’t so I try to remember to carry a packet with me. That way I know I can have the cuppa I like and there’s no pressure on whoever I’m staying with to provide it for me. If you know that going too long without food makes you hangry, pack some of your favourite snacks to nibble if you get peckish. So then if there’s a longer gap between meals you won’t stress about getting tired or snappy because you’re hungry.

Remember this isn’t about rejecting what’s offered by the host or ignoring the culture of the place you’re staying, it’s about bringing a familiarity of home with you so that you can create a sense of ease and calm wherever you are. I’m pretty sure that whoever you’re staying with they would much prefer you to feel comfortable than on edge.

When you’re a guest in someone else’s home, of course you’re going to be fitting in to their routine or way of going about things. It can be quite enlightening to see how other people go about their lives and it can spark ideas for yourself too. Remember that you have a voice and if you’re not comfortable with something you’re allowed to speak up. Struggling on when you feel overwhelmed for the sake of keeping the peace or not hurting anyone’s feelings means that you’re hurting yourself. Think about how you can address the situation, in as clear, calm and kind a way as possible, which results in a solution that takes into account your needs as well as everyone else’s.

When you’re at home you’ll be doing things that help you maintain your equilibrium  without really thinking about it it. Take a moment to consider what these things are and how you can bring them with you wherever you go. So if meditating for a few minutes every day helps you to feel calmer and more patient, find time to do that when you’re staying away from home. Or if taking a walk to get some fresh air and exercise helps you feel your best work out a way to do it. Perhaps you offer to go to the shop or join the dog walk or you say that you simply want to stretch your legs and explore the neighbourhood. 

For the introverts among us our energy is used up by being around people (whereas extroverts gain energy from being in company and in stimulating environments). When we’re staying with other people it can feel like we should be with them all the time but as an introvert you’re will need time to yourself to recharge your batteries. For a long time I really struggled to take myself away from the group while holidaying with friends or family because I didn’t want to be thought of as rude or unsociable. But I learned that I am much better company for the people I’m with when I take some time to myself each day to regain the energy I lost. 

There’s nothing that says that when you’re staying in a different place you have to abandon everything that makes you feel comfortable, grounded and at home. So whether you can only carry one bag or you have a whole car to fill, whether you’ll be sleeping on a sofabed in someone’s living room or you have several rooms to yourself, whether you’re away for one night or a month, think about what you need to feel calm and at ease, and how you can bring that with you to wherever you’re staying. 

Not only do you want to feel relaxed and fully present rather than tense, stressed and in your head, but your family, your friends, or whomever you’re staying with, will benefit from that too. 

If you want to share how you feel at home when you’re away from home I’d love to hear them. You can email me [email protected]

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Thank you for listening to Pressing Pause, you can find details of what I shared in this episode in the show notes at gabrielletreanor.com/podcast. 

If you enjoyed this podcast it would be incredibly helpful and lovely of you to leave a rating or review on iTunes. Reviews make a big difference to how podcasts are found and it would be wonderful if more people could find and listen to this podcast.

There are lots more resources to help you to create, find and feel more calm, ease and joy in your life, including free guides, blog posts, online courses and one to one coaching, at gabrielletreanor.com. Make sure you’re getting my regular emails too, they’re designed to soothe, inspire and delight.

I always love to hear from you, what you take from the episodes and what you’d like me to talk about, so feel free to drop me a line at [email protected].

Thanks again for listening, until next time.