What is ADHD?
What is ADHD?
ADHD is a neurological condition where the brain works differently to what is considered typical, in particular how the brain’s executive function works. It is not a mental illness, a behaviour disorder or a learning disability.
It’s important to note that the stereotypical view of ADHD presenting as a little boy who can’t sit still in class is outdated and doesn’t represent the vast majority of people with ADHD.
ADHD occurs in both boys and girls, it’s thought to affect around 4-5% of the UK population and it’s not something you outgrow. Research suggests it’s passed through generations and there may be links between childhood trauma and ADHD.
ADHD sub-types
There are three sub-types of ADHD – inattentive, hyperactive-impulsive and combined. Roughly speaking those with inattentive ADHD struggle to focus, start and complete tasks, they’re forgetful, easily distracted and daydream. The hyperactive-impulsive subtype are impatient, talkative with a tendency to interrupt and physically energetic – although in women hyperactivity is often internalised. The combined subtype is a mix of both.
Diagnosis
To be formally diagnosed with ADHD an assessment uses the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), which lists nine symptoms for inattentive ADHD and nine for hyperactive-impulsive ADHD. An adult must meet at least five of the nine to be diagnosed with that ADHD subtype.
There are drawbacks of the DSM-V:
The symptoms listed were developed with children not adults in mind, in fact, it was only in 1980 that it was officially recognised that ADHD persists into adulthood.
It doesn’t take into account emotional dysregulation, hormones or the impact of menopause, which is why until relatively recently it was thought women couldn’t have ADHD!
Girls and women are more often diagnosed with inattentive than hyperactive-impulsive ADHD because their ‘busyness’ occurs internally with an overthinking, whirring brain rather than presenting as physical fidgeting.
Girls and women are far more likely to not be diagnosed with ADHD or to be misdiagnosed with other conditions such as anxiety or depression, because they learn from an early age and societal expectations to mask their traits.
A diagnosis is not essential
While accessing medication requires a formal diagnosis, you do NOT need to have a diagnosis to prove to anyone that you have ADHD. If you resonate with symptoms and descriptions of ADHD experiences, if you think you have ADHD, that’s good enough.
To get support – for example coaching, support groups or Access to Work funding – to help you live with your ADHD you don’t need a diagnosis.
What does ADHD look like in real life?
So that’s a lot of technical explanation of ADHD. But what does it really look like?
How does ADHD show up in everyday life?
This is not an exhaustive list by any stretch, you don’t need to tick every box to ‘qualify’ (ugh) as ADHD and I’m not a clinician. However, they resonate with many women I’ve spoken with as well as with my own experience.
So, in no particular order here are 25 ways ADHD may show up in your life
1.
Your brain is super busy all the time, there’s no off switch. You have multiple thoughts running through your head simultaneously, plus there may be a tune or a song playing. At the same time you’re taking in external stimulation like the feel of your clothes or the breeze on your skin, smells, the emotional atmosphere as well as what you can see and hear. All this stimulus is layered up in your brain, running around it non-stop. You might find that your mind goes quiet when you’re absorbed in something but when it’s not fully occupied, especially when it’s deprived of external stimulus like when you’re lying in bed in the quiet and dark, it’s a whirlwind.
2.
Along with this you have a tendency to overthink and ruminate, replaying what’s been said or happened in the past, beating yourself up for something years old, imagining what’s going to happen in the future and rehearsing conversations.
3.
You can find it incredibly hard to get started on a task or a piece of work, even if it’s something you want to do. As well as the mental reluctance it can feel like there’s a physical barrier stopping you from beginning. But, when you’ve procrastinated to the nth degree and finally make a start (perhaps because you’re at deadline crunch time) you become laser focused, you forget everything else (time, hunger, needing the loo) until you emerge having done way more than you thought you could in that time.
4.
Despite your laser focus you can make careless mistakes, which you then beat yourself up about.
5.
Time is something of a mystery – you go from having plenty of time to somehow none at all. You may be late even though you try so hard to be on time OR you clock watch and panic so much about being late that you’re usually early. You find it hard to judge how long something will take, either overestimating or underestimating it. And if there’s something happening at a specific time later in the day you might find it hard to think about or do anything else because you’re waiting for that specific time to come.
6.
When something captures your interest you can dive in wholeheartedly, learning everything on the subject, buying all the kit, and then one day you just aren’t interested and can’t motivate yourself to keep going with it at all.
7.
You have the urge to interrupt someone when they’re speaking not because you aren’t interested in what they have to say but because what they’re saying interests you so much you want to share what you’re thinking about it, or your experiences and opinions too. Plus, if you don’t say it straight away there’s a good chance you’ll forget.
8.
When you get bored with something, or just feel like you’re done, it feels incredibly difficult to keep going with it (it could be a book, a hobby, a conversation, a job or even a relationship).
9.
You’ve been through lots of change in your life from moving home or changing your appearance to starting and ending relationships or changing careers multiple times.
10.
You’re honest with people and that can sometimes mean you overshare or you’re more blunt than you mean to be.
11.
Your emotions can spark quickly taking you from fine to extreme embarrassment, shame, anger, shouting, tears, (as well as joy and excitement) in milliseconds. It can feel like you have no control over your emotions in that moment, and then you have to deal with the fallout afterwards from reacting so extremely so suddenly.
12.
On that theme, if someone criticises you, suggests you’ve done something wrong, rejects or is disappointed in you – or if you just think this is what’s happened – you have an instant and strong, even overwhelming, reaction, it can feel physically painful.
13.
Others may think that you’ve zoned out, lost focus or are bored with them mid-conversation but it’s more likely something they or you said sparked more questions and thoughts and your mind has followed that thread in a new direction.
14.
You get easily distracted from tasks as your brain is busy with thoughts, sparks with new ideas or follows prompts. For example, you start putting dishes away and a clean jug reminds you that the plant in your bedroom needs watering. On the way there you notice the post on the doormat and there’s a letter, which you open immediately, asking you to make an appointment. You go to your computer straight away because otherwise you’ll forget. Then you see other emails in your inbox and the open tabs on your browser and… sometime later you notice there’s a jug of water next to you.
15.
You can overcommit, saying yes and getting involved in lots of things that eventually overwhelm or even burn you out, because you get excited by newness and there’s a strong need to fit in and be liked.
16.
Being uncomfortable with saying no can lead you to overexplain yourself, partly because you don’t want to risk the other person’s displeasure or disappointment in you and also because you’ve felt misunderstood for a lot of your life.
17.
If someone verbally gives you instructions you’ve lost track by the third step but if they’re written down you can follow them no problem.
18.
You’re a multi-tasker, it’s rare that you do one thing at a time (unless you’re hyper-focused on it making you oblivious to anything else). This could be doing a hobby while watching TV, doodling while in a meeting, replying to emails while cooking, or jiggling your leg while listening to someone talk. There can be a need to be in motion, doing something, most of the time.
19.
But when your mind is going at super speed it can render you inert due to the overwhelm of too many thoughts, too many ideas, too many options.
20.
You love a new planner or organising system but you never manage to stick to using them, however much you try or want to.
21.
Your life gets stuck on an all or nothing cycle – you’re firing on all cylinders, getting loads done, keeping all the plates spinning… or you’re exhausted, completely spent and can barely get out of bed. And then the cycle starts all over again.
22.
You may have processes in your life that you don’t (or didn’t) realise others don’t have but which you need to be on time, not lose things, meet deadlines, remember specific dates and appointments, and keep on top of life admin.
23.
You feel like a mass of contradictions – you need structure and routine AND you hate feeling confined and boxed in. You have so many creative thoughts and ideas AND you find it difficult to organise, prioritise or do something with them. You get exhausted by being overstimulated by people, surroundings, your own thoughts AND you feel exhausted when you’re under stimulated too.
24.
You overthink decisions making it hard to actually decide AND you can be impulsive and say yes or jump in without thinking it through first. You can remember details from decades ago AND forget what you went into a room for, where you put something or a person’s name the moment after you’ve been introduced. You’re great in a crisis, taking charge and keeping your cool AND sometimes the ordinary stuff of everyday life can be overwhelming.
25.
You have a nagging, residual, can’t quite shake it feeling of being both too much and not enough for other people simultaneously.
If these ring bells with you, if you suspect or know you have ADHD, or if you have a diagnosis, you are in the right place.
Take a look at the information on the personal support I provide through one-to-one coaching here.
