Pressing Pause Podcast episode 73 When it feels like you’re not getting anywhere

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Welcome to Pressing Pause. I’m Gabrielle Treanor, a coach and writer, and I’m here to share with you ideas, inspiration and actions to empower you to overcome your overwhelm so you can feel calm, confident and in control.

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Hello and welcome to episode 73.

I have a quick public service announcement for you, I am giving a free workshop on Thursday 26 November where I will be sharing three steps for you to start feeling calm and in control. It’s three steps because I don’t want to overwhelm you, obviously, and the three that I’ve chosen are going to make a difference to you straight away, as in immediately. This is not one of those workshops that isn’t really a workshop but more of a waffly waste of time where you come away with nothing and wonder what just happened!

I’ll be sharing concrete, practical actions that we’ll do together so that you’re crystal clear on how they apply to your life, and which will empower you to start feeling calmer and more in control straight away.

You’ll get a technique that you can use any time, anywhere, to feel calmer and it takes just three minutes. I’ll share with you an exercise that you can use whenever uncertainty is unsettling you and making you feel powerless. And a powerful action that builds your confidence in yourself.

The free workshop is happening at 7.30pm UK time on Thursday 26 November, it’ll last around 45 minutes-ish and if you’d like to join me go to gabrielletreanor.com/start to sign up. If you can’t join me live I will send you the replay to watch instead.

This is going to be a really valuable workshop which I know you’ll find beneficial so I hope you can join me!

Now, in today’s episode I’m sharing something that I wrote about in my regular newsletter email last week. I had such a lovely response to it that I thought I’d record a podcast episode so you can hear it too.

So, a few years ago the hubbie, our dog, two friends and I had a week’s holiday on a narrowboat. Before we were let loose on the canal we were given a lesson on how to work locks and steer the boat. The instructor emphasised to us that there would be a delay between moving the tiller or rudder to steer us in the direction we wanted to go, and for the boat to move so we’d actually be going in the direction we wanted to go. And that a tiny move of the tiller would, over time, change our course of direction significantly.

He warned us to be patient and to give the boat time to adjust to the new tiller position, rather than assume nothing was changing and get frustrated.

As we left the safety of the marina and started to manoeuvre the boat we soon learned how true this message was. Each time we adjusted the tiller we had to wait and trust that the boat would change course in the way we wanted to. As probably the most impatient member of our little crew I found it really tricky because when it looks like you’re heading straight into the bank, or another boat, you want to see the results of your steering adjustment and change course really quickly!

I found it hard to hold my nerve, to believe that the boat would respond to our actions and yet it did, every time. There were a fair few bumps into the canal bank and several shouted apologies to other boats as we got the hang of it but our patience was borne out.

The reason I share this is because I’ve been thinking about how frustrating it can be when we don’t see results from the work we’re putting in to ourselves. We find it hard to see how the small steps we’re taking are really adding up to any kind of significant beneficial change in our own lives.

Yet, just like the small movements on the boat tiller, and giving it time to adjust, so must we trust that the actions we’re taking will effect change in ourselves. There may not be an instant, dramatic change but over time, we will see and feel the difference that making small adjustments to the tiller of our lives is having.

I mean, if it was a matter of doing one thing and life being radically wonderful, don’t you think we’d all know about it?! It may not be as exciting or as speedy as we want it to be but the steps you take, the actions you give your energy to, the new habits you form – they are what creates lasting change in your life.

So it might be writing three things you’re thankful for in your gratitude journal each night. Or it could be taking five minutes to meditate before you leave the house. Or maybe it’s taking one day offline each week. Or perhaps it’s noticing when you’re telling yourself all the things you should and shouldn’t do, and saying something kind to yourself instead. Or it could be writing out what’s spinning around in your head before you go to sleep.

Whatever positive action you take and repeat it adds up, bit by bit by bit. You may not notice the difference straight away (and there may be a few bumps along the way and some steps backward) but in time you will. I’m guessing that if you think about it for a moment you’ll be able to find examples in your own life of where incremental action led to noticeable changes over time. I’ve experienced it myself and I witness it in the women I work with. Small steps add up to a big difference.

As I mentioned at the start of this episode, I’m running a free workshop – three steps to start feeling calm and in control – on Thursday 26 November evening and I’d love you to join me. Sign up to get the Zoom link at gabrielletreanor.com/start and I’ll send you the replay if you can’t join me live.

As always you can find me on Instagram where I’m @gabrielletreanor or you can get in touch with me by sending an email to gabrielle@gabrielletreanor.com.

Thanks for listening, until next time, lovely people.

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