Building self-trust

Pressing Pause Episode 109 Building self-trust

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Welcome to Pressing Pause, I’m your host, Gabrielle Treanor, a coach, writer, introvert and sensitive soul with an inclination to ponder over the stuff of life. Join me as I explore how we can create, find and feel more calm, ease and joy in our daily lives.

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I wonder, do you know that I have a bunch of free guides and audios to help you live with more calm and joy that you can download for free on my website? There’s a guide on how you can start your day with more calm without needing to find a single extra minute in your morning – I guarantee I will not tell you to set your alarm a minute earlier. There’s an ebook on how to overcome your overwhelm as an introvert, because us introverts can get overwhelmed really quite easily! There’s a set of guided meditations you can listen to and there’s a guide on making your own soothing self care kit.

You can choose one or all of these freebies and you can download them from my website at gabrielletreanor.com/free. You’ll also get my weeklyish emails where I share more from my own experiences along with tools and ideas for how you can catch your breath, re-centre and live with more calm and joy each day. 

The emails are always the first place that I share new offerings I’ve made for you and give special offers. I’m spending less time on social media these days so if you want to connect with what I’m sharing outside of this podcast my emails are the best way to do that.

So, check out my free guides and download any or all of them at gabrielletreanor.com/free

Okay then, on with the episode!

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Welcome to episode 109. When there’s something we want to do regularly, perhaps we know that it will be really beneficial to us, it can be baffling as to why we find it so hard to actually do the thing consistently.

One of the biggest obstacles when we want to create a new habit or just do something on a more regular basis is the fear of missing a day or session and that meaning that we’ve failed to follow the plan and so we’re a failure too.

It can be enough to stop us from even trying. And if we do try, and then we skip the action for whatever reason, we take that as proof that we weren’t supposed to do the thing in the first place, or that it’s too hard, or that we’re incapable of follow through.

We take it as a character flaw, a sign of our shortcomings.

But here’s the thing: you’re a human, not a machine and so it’s absolutely possible that you might not be completely consistent and you might miss a day or more.

That’s not as important as you might think.

There’s been all kinds of research into and thinking around habit forming (the book Atomic Habits by James Clear is particularly interesting) but there’s something that I think can get a wee bit sidelined in the talk around habits.

It’s not the forgetting or skipping a day that we need to be focusing on.

It’s what happens next.

Acknowledging that you missed a day and choosing to show up for yourself the next time is what’s important. Deciding to keep going, to try again, however many times you slip – that’s what matters.

That’s your commitment to yourself, that’s what will see you moving forward and that’s what will build your self-trust.

I’ve been meditating for many years and I’ve missed many, many days over that time! But I’ve sat back down, set my timer, closed my eyes to meditate once more. Never mind that I missed it yesterday, or the day before that, I’m here now.

I’ve taken part in, and run, projects or challenges that run for a specific number of days with the aim of taking action on a daily basis. And when I’ve reached the final day, even if I lost some days during the timeframe, I’m rewarded with the knowledge, and proof, that I can take action and I can stick to a plan.

I can keep showing up for myself, even after days I miss, and that demonstrates I can trust in myself.

Each day that you choose to try again, to do whatever it is that you want to do for yourself, you’re proving that you can show up for yourself.

You can rely on you.

You learn to trust in yourself more each and every day.

And when you trust in yourself…

…you know that you can cope with whatever comes your way

…when you get things wrong or make mistakes you know you’ll be okay

…you’re kinder and more compassionate with yourself

…you listen to your intuition and know what’s truly right for you

…you have greater clarity and confidence in your decisions and actions

All from making that choice, even when you’ve missed a day or more, to try again, to have another go, to show up for yourself once more.

So, what habit do you want to establish, and in the process build your self-trust too?

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Thank you for listening to Pressing Pause, you can find details of what I shared in this episode in the show notes at gabrielletreanor.com/podcast. 

If you enjoyed this podcast it would be incredibly helpful and lovely of you to leave a rating or review on iTunes. Reviews make a big difference to how podcasts are found and it would be wonderful if more people could find and listen to this podcast.

There are lots more resources to help you to create, find and feel more calm, ease and joy in your life, including free guides, blog posts, online courses and one to one coaching, at gabrielletreanor.com. Make sure you’re getting my regular emails too, they’re designed to soothe, inspire and delight.

I always love to hear from you, what you take from the episodes and what you’d like me to talk about, so feel free to drop me a line at [email protected].

Thanks again for listening, until next time.